


"I love you" isn't Simple

by Fopdoodle



Category: Violet Evergarden (Anime), ヴァイオレット・エヴァーガーデン - 暁佳奈 | Violet Evergarden - Akatsuki Kana
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-17
Updated: 2020-08-17
Packaged: 2021-03-06 02:15:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 500
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25961950
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fopdoodle/pseuds/Fopdoodle
Summary: Violet Evergarden writes a letter about the complexities of love to Major Gilbert when she learns of Luculia’s engagement.
Relationships: Violet Evergarden/Luculia Marlborough
Comments: 2
Kudos: 22





	"I love you" isn't Simple

Dear Major Gilbert,

Today I found out that Luculia has gotten engaged. Everyone else at the company was excited to hear this news, but I was not. I was angry and sad. At first, I did not understand why, and I had to spend a lot of time thinking to understand why I was upset. I think I know now. It is because  _ “I love you” _ isn’t simple.

I don’t want her to hold onto his hand. I want her to hold mine, even though it is cold, and I would not feel the warmth from her hands. When she leans her head on his shoulder, I want to feel what it would be like to do that. But  _ “I love you” _ isn’t simple. 

When she smiles, I feel a warmth, as if she is wrapping her hands around my heart. It makes me smile back at her. But I cannot wrap my hands around her heart in return. Even if I did, she would not feel it as kindly as when she does it. And I would not sense her heart in my hands either. It would be distant and strange. I wish you were here to tell me why  _ “I love you” _ isn’t simple.

Luculia doesn’t know that her hands are around my heart. To her, they are around her husband-to-be and not me. She holds his heart, and he holds hers, and they can feel the warmth of each other’s hands. Something she would not know from me. For him, she knows what the words  _ “I love you” _ means, but she does not understand them for me. I do not think she can. She doesn’t realize that  _ “I love you”  _ isn’t simple. __

So I must learn to put aside those words, but it hurts, because I have to pull her hands off my heart so that I can. But she does not realize what she has done, and is digging her fingers into my heart. I try to pull her fingers out, remove her hands from my heart so that I can be glad that she is in love. Her fingers are ripping pieces of my heart away from me. I want to feel happy when she smiles, but I do not want to feel the anger and sadness. It makes me angry that I cannot pull away, that I do not know how to remove her hands from my heart.

Why can’t I pull away?

Why can’t I remove her hands from my heart?

Why can’t  _ “I love you” _ be simple?

I wish she understood what  _ “I love you” _ means for me, but she never will. And I will have to pull away from her hands even though it hurts. Although it is like falling from the tallest tower in Liden, I must. But I will remember this feeling, and I will let it carry me back to the tower where I can pretend for a moment that  _ “I love you” _ is simple.

Sincerely,

Violet Evergarden

**Author's Note:**

> I know that a lot of people view Violet and Gilbert's relationship as romantic (which is gross because they met when she was ten and he was significantly older), but when I watch the show, I pick up on more Lesbian vibes than straight vibes. Particularly with Luculia. But I don't necessarily think Luculia would reciprocate Violet's feelings, which is why the letter is written this way.


End file.
